Romance scams: how to identify, protect yourself, and recover

Look at you: you’re making money, running your own business, keeping all those plates spinning. At Tide, we know our members are a catch – but that might also make you a target. 

But don’t panic, we’re here to make sure you’re clued up on romance scams so you won’t get hooked.

Table of contents

1. What is a romance scam?
2. Latest romance scam trends
3. Red flags to help you spot fraudsters
4. How to protect yourself
5. What to do if you’ve been scammed
6. Self-care steps for victims

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam occurs when a fraudster deceives someone into forming a romantic or emotional connection with them.

Once trust is established, the scammer exploits the relationship for financial gain. These scams often take place on dating websites, social media platforms, and even professional networking sites.

As with other scams we’ve explored in the “Keep Your Business Safe” series, romance scams are particularly damaging financially and emotionally. Victims may feel deeply betrayed, making it harder to identify and recover from these scams.

When it comes to matters of the heart, it can be difficult to decide what’s real and what’s fake.

Latest romance scam trends

Scammers’ tactics have become increasingly sophisticated, making it harder to detect their schemes. Here are the latest trends to be aware of:

1. Fake profiles: Fraudsters use fabricated personas with stolen or AI-generated photos to appear authentic. These profiles are designed to be relatable and appealing, making it easier to build trust quickly
2. AI-generated content: Scammers leverage technology like deepfake videos and AI-generated images to impersonate real people convincingly. This technology makes it harder to distinguish between genuine interactions and scams
3. Deepfake impersonation: Fraudsters may create fake profiles or deepfake videos. These can be of well-known celebrities or even the victim’s family members. They often request money under the guise of charity donations or personal emergencies

By understanding these trends, you can better recognise when a potential romance may be too good to be true.

Red flags to help you spot the fraudsters

Here are the key warning signs that someone might be trying to scam you:

1. Too good to be true: They seem perfect in every way, from their glamorous lifestyle to their attractive appearance. They may make extravagant claims to build trust quickly
2. Rapid intimacy: They declare strong feelings early in the relationship, claiming “it’s fate” or that they’ve “never felt this way before.”
3. Evasive behavior: They avoid in-person meetings or video calls, citing reasons like work commitments, travel restrictions, or technical issues
4. Financial requests: They ask for money under emotional pretenses, such as medical emergencies, travel expenses, or investment opportunities
5. Professional angle: On professional platforms like LinkedIn, they may combine romance with business, pitching investment schemes or business opportunities that sound too good to be true
6. AI-enhanced deception: Be wary of profiles with overly polished photos or videos that seem unnatural. These could be AI-generated or deepfakes

How to protect yourself

Protecting yourself from romance scams involves awareness and caution. Here are some steps to safeguard yourself:

1. Verify their identity:
   • Conduct reverse image searches on their profile pictures using tools like Google Images or TinEye
   • Request a video call early in the conversation, or to meet up in-person. Genuine individuals won’t hesitate to meet face-to-face or via video
2. Stay sceptical:
   • Be cautious of overly flattering individuals or those who push the relationship forward too quickly
   • Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is
3. Question their stories:
   • Look for inconsistencies in their accounts, such as contradicting details about their location, profession, or personal life
   • Be alert if they offer elaborate excuses for why they can’t meet or verify their identity
4. Never send money:
   • Avoid transferring funds under any circumstances, no matter how convincing their story sounds
   • Be especially cautious if they mention investments, cryptocurrency, or business opportunities promising high returns
   • Don’t buy items they ask for. Plane tickets or hotel stays are very common, as the scammer can pretend to need financial help visiting you
5. Limit information sharing:
   • Do not share sensitive personal details such as your address, financial information (including access to bank details), daily routines or email profiles
   • Avoid posting excessive personal details publicly on social media that scammers could use to target you
6. Check for AI-generated content:
   • Scrutinise professional-looking photos or videos, as these could be deepfakes: 
     1. Focus on details such as hands, eyes or shadows, for potential inconsistencies. AI-generated images are created using data from existing photos, which is why AI often has difficulty with details that appear less often in other images
     2. Does it look too good to be real? AI-generated images may appear too perfect, like they’ve been airbrushed a little too much
     3. Try a reverse image search. Since AI-generated photos appear in fewer places than real ones, they’re less likely to show up here
7. Use reputable platforms:
   • Stick to well-known dating apps or social platforms with strong security measures
8. Talk to someone you trust:
   • If you’re unsure about someone’s authenticity, consult a trusted friend or family member before proceeding

What to do if you’ve been scammed

If you suspect you’ve fallen victim to a romance scam, act quickly:

1. Stop communication: Cease all contact with the scammer immediately. Block and report their account on the platform where you met them
2. Report It:
   • Contact us by calling 159 if you’re in the UK, or tapping ‘Support’ > ‘Report fraud’ in your Tide app – especially if you’ve sent money
   • Contact Action Fraud through their dedicated reporting tool
3. Preserve evidence:
   • Keep records of messages, emails, and transactions. These can help authorities investigate the scam
4. Monitor your finances:
   • Check your bank accounts for unauthorised transactions. Set up payment alerts, so you’re informed of any payment made from your bank card or bank account

Self-care steps for victims

Being a victim of a romance scam can be emotionally draining. Here’s how to take care of yourself:

1. Talk to someone you trust:
   • Share your experience with a close friend, family member, or support group. Talking about it can ease feelings of shame or isolation
2. Seek professional support:
   • Consider counseling to process the emotional impact and rebuild confidence in forming future connections
3. Educate yourself:
   • Learn more about romance scams to empower yourself and help others avoid falling victim
4. Take your time:
   • Don’t rush into new relationships. Give yourself time to heal and rebuild trust

Final thoughts

Romance scams can happen to anyone, regardless of age or background. By staying informed and cautious, you can reduce your risk and help others do the same. Remember, genuine relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, not financial transactions. If you suspect fraud, don’t hesitate to take action – your safety and well-being come first.